A Zillion Dreams of Anny

The weather forecast was accurate this time; it is nice and cold outside. The moment I push the front door, scent of chilly air runs amuck into my nostrils. It is a proverbial feeling; it reminds me of the days in New York last Christmas. It didn’t snow and yet it was nice and cold. The color of the sky is baby blue, so clear as if there has never been any airplane penetrating through this piece of art. Without the blockage of the clouds, today I can actually see the heartwarming smile of the sun. Such a beautiful day adds more excitement to my forthcoming adventure.

        It is 6:15 a.m. Saturday, November 15^th. If you were me, right at the moment, you would find that the world you’re seeing now is a blur. Yup! My eyes are still half closed. I haven’t felt my eye lids this heavy ever since I got out of high school. Waiting for school bus at 6:30 in the morning was surly a gluteus angina. (I am not trying to sound smart here. I am just avoiding using the ruder term). While enjoying being hugged by this lovely weather, my sight suddenly gets darker. I am soon covered by a shadow. It is Lars standing behind me. His height always appeases me in a strange way. “Good morning babe,” he speaks in a gentle but sleepy tone. “Morning,” I reply. Lars in the morning always amuses me. His hair is spiky which reminds me of the characters in the anime Dragon Balls. He has a jacket put on without having a shirt underneath. He is wearing his pajama pants that aren’t really meant to be pajama pants. They are the pants people wear to practice Chinese martial art. In addition, he has his house slippers on, sometimes I wear them just to imagine how it’s like to have big feet. And yup! This is how Lars looks like in the morning. This is also how he looks like when he is at work. How? Well, he works from home.

        “You’d better get ready now. Jared and Frank are up already,” he says.

“Alright!” I respond with a little bit more energy this time. 

Jared is Lars’ roommate. They have known each other since they were eight or nine. Jared is an ex-marine, tough looking guy who is bald headed with red goat teeth. However, he is a man with few words and therefore unpredictable. Frank is Lars’ good friend plus personal assistant at work. He is a skinny Mexican guy who has light skin. Many times people aren’t able to tell his nationality, and a number of them have mistaken him with the Asians. In my opinion, Frank is a passive guy who gets picked on by everybody. Lars and Jared love to mess with that poor boy.

        I quickly pull out the costume I need from my backpack. I have a black dress, black cloak with grey fur on the inside, black leggings with patterns of holes, and finally I have a pair of oversized black boots. Black has been my favorite color of all time. It is the combination of all the colors and therefore it would go well with just about any other color. One bad thing about having too many black items though is that it takes longer time for me to find the stuff I want in my black backpack. Everything looks the same inside my bag. Speaking of the pair of oversized boots, they aren’t mine. I borrowed them from Jared. That explains a lot right? And that also reminds me of last night how Jared had to use a driller to drill more holes on the belts of the boots for me in order to fit the shoes. The sound of the driller put me into an incredible fear especially when my feet were still in the boots! I grabbed onto the back of Lars’ stomach so tight that Lars couldn’t help but screamed, “Babe! Babe! You’re grabbing my kidneys, it hurts!” I didn’t hear what he said until he repositioned my hands. It wasn’t exactly a fun experience. But hey! At least I got my boots ready.

        I’ve got everything put on while having the flashback. Apparently the guys are ready as well. I really don’t want to describe how their costumes look like because after they put on the black cloaks, they all look the same to me. The only difference would probably be that Lars is taller, Jared is stronger, and Frank is skinnier. All of them look like the gentlemen from the ancient Europe. Even though we are not at the Renaissance Festival yet, I can already sense the air of it.

        We are taking Jared’s truck today. I was worried about how this is going to work because the backseat of the truck is tiny, and it simply makes me wonder if Lars will sacrifice himself to sit in the backseat with me. To use the word “sacrifice” is a bit exaggerating. However, seeing a person who is 6’4 tall volunteering himself to be crammed in that limited space like pickles in the jar is indeed commendable. I start to crawl into the backseat, that familiar shadow is again following me.

        “Do you mind if I sit here next you?” Lars winks at me.

        “No. Not at all.” I reply with a grin and a kiss on his left cheek. After all he chose to sit with his girlfriend. This sort of simple joy always draws a rainbow in my heart.

        “Ready!” Jared jumps into his seat which creates a small earthquake in the truck. I look at the clock, it is 7:30 a.m. and I hear the car engine is operated.

        There’s no traffic on the road, thus the truck is running swiftly as if it is also excited about the Renaissance Festival. I have no idea where exactly we are heading. I was never given a sense of direction when I was born therefore it would be a piece of cake to kidnap me. Once I leave where I live, I get lost. And that explains a lot why I still haven’t got my driver’s license yet.

        “Dang! This is like the earliest time in years!” Lars glances at the clock.

        “Yup. We’ll be there early to avoid traffic. Hopefully we’ll see the opening of the festival today.” Jared speaks in such a calm voice that I am suspecting that he’s probably not awake yet.

        Renaissance Festival has been a tradition for Lars’ family. They attend the event every year. This would be Lars’ 19^th year going to the festival.

        “Babe, we will probably get drunk today. You’d better be prepared.” Lars says in a joking way, but I know that he means it.

        “Oh.” I answer. I don’t know what else to say. I smile, as usual.

        According to my observation and analysis, I know that Jared won’t drink much since he’s the driver. Frank will probably drink a lot. Lars will get drunk since next Monday is his birthday, he will celebrate his birthday at the festival. Me, I won’t drink. Every time I have an alcohol beverage, I would always blush so bad that my face would literally turn into a garden tomato. Plus! I am not 21 yet. I suppose that it won’t be the right thing to do to drink.

        I hear a succession of conversations going on in the car; nevertheless I focus more on the views outside of the window. Time goes by unnoticeably while I pay attention to the designs of the buildings, the colors of the grass, and the shapes of the clouds. We soon arrive and park in the parking lot of the Renaissance Festival.

        As soon as Lars opens the car door, the nippy breeze immediately invades my vulnerable legs and eventually disperses through my entire body. I wrap myself with the fur cloak, I am soon glad I did that. After scanning through the people in the parking lot, I realize that there are many others who have dressed up for the event as well. I glimpse at them with curiosity, they stare back at me with the same look. Finally, the frosty air wins over my curiosity. I decide to hide under Lars’ cloak instead of to look at strangers’ costumes. We start walking toward the gate with the crowd. At the moment, I am like a kid who’s about to open her Christmas presents. This exhilarating feeling is something I haven’t experienced in a long time.

        “Oh, crap.” Jared says again in a calm voice.

        “What’s up man?” Frank replies.

        “I think I locked my car key in the car,” he says.

        “You’re kidding me right?” Lars speaks.

        “No, I really locked it in the car,” Jared says.

        As the conversation goes on, we automatically turn our bodies around and walk back to where we parked. Through the window glass, we see the car key sitting next to the steel wheel like a stubborn child.

        Lars is the only person among us who has a cell phone. I didn’t want to bring mine because there’s pocket on any part of my costume. Plus, I don’t want people to call me when I have a good time.

        “Mama! Jared locked his key in the truck. Can you bring a cloth hanger so I could try to break into the car?” Apparently, it’s Lars talking on the phone. I don’t know how this is going to work, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try.

        Lars, Frank and I did not yell at Jared nor blame him for locking the key in the car, but we all know that it’s an unwise thing to do.

        “Let’s just get in first and wait for my mom,” Lars says.

        We silently agree and then again walk toward the gate.

        At the front gate, we see a sheriff standing by the ticket collector. We are in trouble. Of course we need a talk with the sheriff.

        “Sir? We locked our key in the car. Can you help us open the car door?” Lars says.

        “Do you need the key now?” the sheriff says.

        “No, we’re not in a hurry,” Lars replies.

        “Well, I’ll be here all day. You guys can go in first, when you come out in the afternoon, come talk to me. I’ll call for help and get the car key for you,” the sheriff says.

        “Okay! Thank you very much,” Lars says.

        After having a talk with the sheriff, we all feel much better now. Once I enter the gate, I instantly forget about the nuisance we encounter so far.

        It is an interesting town. Although these buildings aren’t strange to me, they aren’t often seen in our daily life either. The surrounding reminds me of a few video games that I played before. It also reminds me of some movies such as “The Lord of the Rings” and “Pirates of the Caribbean.” I feel I am now in my own fairy tale. Each object in the town is astonishment to me. I see various people dressing up as pirates, knights, witches, monks, and warriors. On the street there are people who wear modern clothes, there are people who dress up as the characters in the fairy tale, such a phenomenon confuses me, but somehow excites me more.

        We walk around in the town quickly. I follow Lars’ steps, Jared and Frank saunter in front of us. Sometimes Lars and I are far apart from Jared and Frank, we enjoy ambling alone occasionally.

        “Dude! Guess who we saw just now!” Frank comes to Lars.

        “Who?” Lars says.

        “Emily.” Frank says.

        “Are you serious!?” Lars seems so surprised.

        “Yeah. Me and Jared walked by her and she recognized me. I waved at her,” Frank replies.

        “I didn’t say hi to her, I just put on my hood and walked away. She didn’t see me,” Jared says.

        “That’s bizarre…” Lars holds my hand tighter and pulls me closer. Soon we turn around and stroll toward the opposite direction of where Jared and Frank came from.

        Emily is Lars’ ex-girlfriend. It is indeed unordinary to run into my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend on the same date in such event. I don’t feel awkward; however, I do have a funny feeling inside. Yet, I am curious about what kind of person she is, how she looks like et cetera. I tap on Lars’ shoulder and give him another smile in hope the clumsiness would vanish.

        Now we are back to the front gate once more. There are more and more people coming to the festival. After a few minutes of waiting, we finally meet up with Rita and Scott.

        “Hi, how are you doing?” I hug each of them.

        Rita and Scott are Lars’ parents. Scott is also Jared’s boss at work. Both of them are welcoming to me. I like them a lot.

        Today Rita and I are sisters. Both of us dress in black and we always walk together.

Five of us soon settle down in a bar. Despite that the sun has been hung in the sky for a while now; the cold air is still encircling me. Averagely I shiver once every ten seconds. I need something to warm me up, I really do.

“What do you want to drink, Anny?” Rita hollers at me from the counter.

“Anything with alcohol in it, please.” I say, even though I’ve promised not to drink. I figure that this is the only way to rise my body temperature.

After about two minutes, Rita brings two glasses of white wine, one for her, one for me. I take a sip of it. The wine is not bitter, a lot better than I thought. The guys have beer, something I never like.

“Frank and Jared saw Emily,” Lars tells Rita.

“Ah,” Rita switches her focus to me.

“If you guys see her, just hold him tight, give him a big kiss and say, ‘mine!’” Rita smirks and tastes her wine. If I recall correctly, Lars has told me that his mom never liked Emily when they were together. I guess it’s true. I do not say much but smile. Having a big smile usually makes people have a good impression on you. It works in most of the cases.

My face is slowly turning red. A tiny spark has ignited in my stomach. I am warming up now. By the time I look at my cup again and try to drink more, my sight has split the cup into two. I am starting feel fuzzy inside. Nobody has yet noticed that.

“Would you like another glass?” Scott asks.

“Yes, please.” I reply, and smile of course.

As the new filled cup of white wine is on my table, everyone is already ready to go.

“Babe, finish your drink. We’re about to leave.” Lars says. He doesn’t want me to carry a drink around on the street because there would be people inspecting for underage drinkers.

“Okay!” I answer. After talking, I take a deep breath and finish the entire glass in one nip. Lars looks astounded. He knows that I seldom drink.

“Dang! I know I love you for a reason!” Lars laughs.

As soon as I step out of the bar, my world starts to move.

“Anny! Try this!” Rita approaches to me with a dark pink looking drink.

“This is really good!” I open my eyes widely. I drink it and realize how delicious it is. It tastes like a combination of snow cone and fruity smoothie. Sweet, very sweet!

“You can have it,” Rita says. I am guessing the reason she doesn’t want it is that it’s too cold to drink something like this in such a chilly day.

I let Lars taste the drink and he concludes that it’s rum, a strong alcohol beverage.

The world is spinning fast now. I strive hard to pay attention to what’s going on around me. Nonetheless, buildings have become a haze, people have become a haze. Walking straight suddenly becomes a difficult job to achieve. When I open my eyes, I see myself holding on Rita’s waist. We’re in a shop looking at the luminous jewelry. The next moment when I open my eyes again, I see myself leaning on Lars’ chest. He’s trying to stop me from falling on the ground. I smile at everyone I see. I am feeling happy.

“Sleepwalking” would describe the rest of my day at the Renaissance Festival. I am conscious. However, I blank out most of the time. There are images of Jared and Scott competing each other over the games such as archery, hammering, and knife shooting. There are also images Rita and I chatting and eating funnel cake in the middle of the street. I remember everything happening in the festival; nevertheless, they feel unreal to me. The only one thing that I know for sure though, is that I am the only one among the group who gets drunk. Life is unpredictable huh?

As we walk out of the gate which is when I am able to perceive with a sense of reality, I see another sheriff standing there. It is a different guy from whom we saw earlier. Lars explains the situation to the sheriff again.

“No problem. Let me call for help. You drive a maroon truck right? Stand by your car; be sure to wave at the toll truck if you see one passing by. They’ll be able to unlock the car door for you,” the sheriff replies.

We thank the sheriff and march toward Jared’s truck. The sky is soon taken over by night. The moon forms a perfect circle like the penny in my wallet. Stars in the dark blue are like millions of blinking eyes winking at us. As the daytime ends, vehicles in the parking lot have gradually vanished. As the nighttime arises, the cold, freezing particles in the air seem to multiply themselves. The temperature keeps dropping; my skin and nerves tell me. Lars takes the hanger that his parents dropped in the trunk and folds it into a straight wire with a hook at the end. I hold his cell phone open making sure that the light it gives penetrating through the car window. Jared is next to me helping Lars. Frank is leaning on the edge of the truck looking for a passing by toll truck.

“You’re not trying to break in and steal the car, are ya!?” Some guy who toddles by thinks that we’re a criminal organization. But to think about it, we would probably make a good crime organization. Oh well!

“If we’re really breaking into the car, we would simply smash the glass and take the card away,” Jared is mumbling.

Lars successfully gets wire into the car, but the lock on the door has a smooth surface that the hook is unable to grab. He also tries to press the unlock button with the hook. Tough luck, the wire doesn’t exert enough force to actually push the button. After an hour of trying, we declare that we give up the stubborn door. The temperature is still dropping; my shirt skirt does not help me much. I am shivering as the wind slaps on my face. Two hours have passed by, and we haven’t seen the toll truck passing by yet. Lars and I hide under our cloaks. We cuddle each other like the orphans on the street.

“Jared! You and Frank should cuddle like us too! It helps a lot!” Lars and I are laughing.

“Yeah! Let’s cuddle Frank!” Jared speaks in a sarcastic tone and acts like he will grab Frank into his arms.

“Dude! Stay back!” Frank seems shocked. To be honest, if I were him in such a circumstance, I would probably cuddle with Jared. It is 32 degrees Fahrenheit outside!

“Man! I know no one wants to say anything about it. But why!? Why would you do that!? Why would you lock the damn key in that freakin’ damn door!? Why!?” Lars finally bursts.

I was wondering too why nobody yells at nor blames on Jared. I guess it’s because we all realize that it’s futile to whine.

“Babe… I am… really… really… cold…” I say it with my lips shivering. I am freezing, like a victim who falls down from the sinking Titanic. This has never happened to me before, not to someone who grew up in Taiwan, a hot, humid subtropical island. I conceal myself at the corner in the back of Jared’s trunk. Suddenly I have a rapid flashback of what has happened today, thousands of memory pictures have slithered through my head. This experience is extremely close to the experience of someone who’s about to encounter death. “Am I going to die?” is the question that I ask myself. I know it’s silly, but it somehow provokes the fear deep inside. It never goes away until I see a light burnishing onto my eyes from the far end of the road… it’s the light of a miracle…

“Toll truck! It’s coming!” Frank says.

“Thank God! Life saver!” Lars screams.

        This is the first time that I actually appreciate the presence of a toll truck. Even though I have no tears around my eye frames, I am truly happy that we are saved. I know I am exaggerating my life story again. Nevertheless, I have learned how fragile a person can be, I have also learned how simple things can actually make a big difference under certain circumstances. This is probably the shortest day I’ve ever had, and this is probably the longest night I’ve ever got.

Well! I have to admit… I don’t have the energy and inspiration to write journals like I used to anymore. I can even sense that my writing skills are declining! I hope one day… maybe when I am not so occupied, I will be able pick up my writing passion again!

Let’s see… when was my last journal entry? Ahhhh… it’s already been three months! Alright, in order to not let my readers give up on my blog, here I am going to post something. It’s a bit meaningless… but HEY! ANNY IS IN THE VIDEO!!!

Anyway! This is a video that Lauren and I took when we were in New York. It was my last day there. We always see this trip as our sweet “honeymoon”! We already started calling each other “husband and wife” long before this trip. (I know… all girls play this kind of game, role play! I am the husband and she is the wife. How sweet…) HOWEVER! We decided to have a “divorce” right after the “honeymoon”! Don’t ask me why… that’s how this game goes… So! Here we have our video titled “Declaration of Divorce”! Hope y’all would enjoy it. The purpose of this video is… to not to be bored!

We spoke Chinese in the video. For people who don’t understand Chinese. I got the translation for you! J

Anny: Hey we two… Today... No! Not today! Tomorrow is our…

Lauren: 1 year birthday!

Anny: Wrong!!! Tomorrow is our Day of Divorce! Yes… We are now in New York, and tomorrow…

Lauren: We will get a divorce!

Anny: Right!

Lauren: So, we need a video to prove that we are really divorcing tomorrow. Today is Jan 1^st, tomorrow is Jan 2^nd, and the day after that… somebody will have to go to school! (meaning me!)

Anny: So we have to divorce!

Lauren: Correct!

Anny: Our conversation SUCKS!!!

Both giggling…

Lauren: We have to kiss before we divorce!!!

Anny: (Pretending I didn’t hear it…) for our honeymoon in New York… how do you think of it?

Lauren: You say first! It’s your first time here.

Anny: I think… it’s kind of fun. Taking the subway ourselves was pretty cool! (even though I take subway when I am in Taiwan all the time!)

Lauren: Really?

Anny: Yes! Yes! It’s like… we’re doing backpack traveling on our own!

*Trying to occupy the entire screen with my face, but didn’t quite work!*

Anny: what about you?

Lauren: Me? I have nothing to say!

Anny: Come here! *Drag her close to me*

Lauren: Ahh!!!

Lauren: Basically… this is my first time come to New York by myself and to visit the places as a tourist. That’s it! I have nothing to talk about! Hehe! All I could think of is… “Oh this is my first time to take the subway with my friend, then we become familiar with it!”

Anny: you know… our topic is so rubbish! (do I sound British here?)

Lauren: it’s ok… People will get used to it! That’s us! WE ARE THE DIVORCING COUPLE!!!

Anny: YEAH!!!

*Me ended it with a ‘peace’ sigh. Lauren waved to the camera…*

END

Well… that’s our nonsense video! It’s not really nonsense… it’s actually another part of my sweet memory. I really enjoyed my trip to New York! J

It’s been another month since I posted my last journal. Several reasons caused this postpone, all of them hurt me at some point.

Whenever I enter my own space, it reminds me of Jan. It reminds me how he came to visit my site every so often and sent e-mails telling me to continue writing. Look back on these past days; they’re like dreams. However, dreams are evanescence, memories are forever carved. I am afraid to reveal how much I miss him; I don’t think he ever cares anyway… All he worries about is he getting hurt and then hides all the feelings from me. I am sick of this guess-how-he-feel game, but I can’t stop playing. There’s a period of time that I tried to hate him and focus myself on the studies. It seemed to work at the beginning, but some many things just reminded me of him. It’s really easy to love someone. It’s easy to hate someone as well. Nevertheless, it is so hard to love and hate someone at the same time. I am not hurting anyone but myself.

I broke up with Marcus about two months ago. What was the reason? Heh! I told everyone it’s because of my studies, there’s actually more than that… Back when I was in Taiwan, I eventually got the chance to talk to Jan again. At the end of the conversation, I told him that I have never stopped loving him. He simply replied, “how about your boyfriend? Do you love two men at the same time?” A sudden guilt came on me and made me start questioning the love for Marcus. Suffering from a period of wavering, I finally burst out after Jan stating “how about your boyfriend?” for the second time in the e-mail. I was calm and asking for a breakup with Marcus. It was tough for me; it took us at least 4 hours to end this relationship. I was selfish, so selfish that I hated myself still now. In my mind, all I could think was me and Jan getting back together. Even if the possibility was slight, I wanted to take the chance. The thought destroyed Marcus completely. Marcus used to ask me, not just once but many times… “If Jan wants to get back together with you, would you choose him over me?” I always answered, “I’d choose you, because Jan never gives me a promise but the fear of being distant.” It proved that I was lying. I chose Jan over Marcus in the hope of having my first relationship back.

I sent Jan another notifying that I broke up with my boyfriend, however he never replied me back. I never heard from him anymore… That destroyed me. It made me look like an idiot, a total fool as well. I couldn’t believe Jan’s cruelty and coldness. I wanted to cry, but my tears had dried out long time ago. There was only a sour taste dispersing in my heart. I couldn’t tell anyone, I could only swallow back. There was a mixed feeling; it could be a combination of love, guilt, rage and hate… perhaps more. I want to slap myself so much. Jan is not coming back. I should’ve known the fact 2 years ago. Why am I still begging for his mercy? If everyone has a dark side of his or her life, mine would be the memories with Jan. Maybe… Jan was revenging, he broke up with his girlfriend when I was in Taiwan. Then he made me break up with Marcus and disappeared. Hehe I don’t know. I know nothing about Jan, the guy I love the most, the man I gave my everything to.

September 18^th is Jan’s birthday. I remember exactly on September 8^th, Saturday, I sent out a birthday card to his office. I told myself, “If he does not get my mail, or if he does not reply my mail, I will forget about him, I will erase his name from my heart.” As always, what I received was disappointment. I gave up… there was only hate was lingering. I don’t know what I did to deserve him treating me this way.

I have a few friends whose girlfriends or boyfriends are in a different country. They waited and planned until the day to meet. Eventually, they got to be with their beloveds. All I could give was my blessing… but I was jealous inside. I envy for what I can’t get. When people were bragging about how their lovers were so wonderful, I was whimpering behind the computer, I was laughing at myself too with a sarcastic voice. When will I ever get over him? I think I have a depression, I am mentally ill… for real.

It’s been two months since the last time I heard from him. During the time, I know that he still visited my msn space whenever I updated it. “Why the hell would you still come to my visit? If you don’t want to talk to me, you’re not welcome to know about my personal life!” it’s never a fair deal. Jan can always look up my personal website and see how I am doing. Here in the site, I update pictures and texts where he can see me changing and maybe grow mature. What about me? When was the last time I saw him? Two years ago I guess. When was the last time talking to him? 3 months ago when I was in Taiwan, how about the time before that? All I have is his only one picture and shortened e-mails. Anyway… a few weeks ago, I lost track of him. He quits visiting my space. I contradict what I said, I wish he could be back on checking on me, showing that he still cares. I know it’s meaningless for me to hope, it’s meaningless for him to check my site also. A lot of people must think it’s not worth to love a man like that, but I have to admit… I still love Jan. He’s still Skyppy… after all. He’s the guy who made me fall happily, voluntarily.

Jan… I don’t know if you’d ever come back and see this journal entry. There’s no expectation in this article so don’t worry. Perhaps the reason of you being disappeared is that you found the right girl. If you do, you have my blessing and please don’t hurt the people who love you. If we never get to talk or see each other again, I wish you have a good life.

I guess there’s nothing left to say…

Pity me heh…

First week of school of 2007 has become a part of history. However, I can still recall how it was like in the first day of school.

Due to the jetlag and maybe a bit of excitement of going back to school, I got up so early to get prepared. I had a bowl of milk with some cereal and jumped out the door directly heading to the bus stop. It was still dark outside, but I could still see pieces of clouds overlapping on one and another. The moon was beautiful, so bright, so round… The bus didn’t keep me waiting too long; it came in about 2 minutes which was a surprise. The bus driver is still the Hispanic old man, I said hi to him and I didn’t know if he greeted me back since I was listening to my ipod. There were some strange faces on the bus, they must be freshmen apparently. To think of that made me feel lucky, I am graduating this year! The bus was moving, and I was staring at outside of the window. Probably it’s because I just got back in Texas from Taiwan, the scenery seemed familiar but not so familiar to me. I chuckled, “here I am, back in Sugar Land again!” Very soon, I saw the building in front of my eyes, Clements high school…

I never realized how many people left until just now, most of my close friends have gone to colleges or moved away. Our little girlie organization LA3MTV was completely torn apart; we only got Ashley, Anny, Meilin and Tina at Clements. At this point, I sensed that it’s going to be a quiet year without them.

First period, we went to our advisory class to get the schedule. Advisory classes are divided by last names. In my case, my advisory class included all the students with last names from Wu to Yep. When I walked into the advisory room… HOLY MOLLY!!! All of the students are Asian! In contrast to this funny scenery, the teacher is a Caucasian white guy. I could tell that he was comfortable around a bunch of Asian students. Anyway, it was interesting. And finally, I got my class schedule…

 I think I was lucky enough to have such a schedule… 1^st period- Choir, 2^nd period- French II, 3^rd period- PE, 4^th period- US Government, 5^th period- Biology AP, 6^th period- Chemistry AP, and 7^th period- English IV. Classes in the morning are extremely easy. Classes in the afternoon are extremely hard. And I don’t know if I am cursed or something, I am destined to have my science class in the fifth period, when is around the lunch time. Well… I am glad at least that there’s no dissection of animals this year. Lunch with the memories of cutting and skinning isn’t exactly mentally sanitary to me.

 Okay, here I am going to introduce all of my teachers this semester, and you’re going to hear a lot about my favorite teacher Mr. Steinkamp.

First period is choir. A plenty of people asked me why I don’t just take art instead of choir. My answer is quite easy, because I don’t want to do all the art work. I take double science classes this semester, that’s enough work to consume my spare time. Doing art would only fail my school year. So… here I am, in the choir classroom.

My choir teacher is Mrs. Matysiak. Seriously, I still don’t know how to pronounce her name. She seems friendly. Most of the students in this class are football players which would constantly bring chaos, and that doesn’t make Mrs. Matysiak happy. But oh well… football players are always like that, aren’t they?

You must think… “Anny, you play instruments, choir should be an easy class for you!” Here I have to prove you wrong… Meh! Choir is hard! Especially when you have to learn the music theory in ENGLISH! It kind of gets on my nerve that I actually know all the musical terms and rules; however I don’t know them in English. Personally I think choir is tougher than biology…

There’s a girl in my choir class who’s from Denmark. I think she’s in ESL class too. Her English is pretty good comparing to other ESL students. According to my experiences, Asian ESL students are the slowest English learners. There are too many Asians in my school (39% of the school population) that causes them to hang out with their own ethnicity only. What happens when you only hang out with your own group? You don’t get to speak English as much. For me, I think of myself as a special case. Even though 90% of my friends speak Chinese, I manage to communicate with people in English. Personally I think the reason is that I am interested in learning languages. My friends moved to America because they want a diploma here in the US. Silly as it may sound; I came here simply because I wanted to learn English. Anyway, I am off the topic.

There’s another girl who’s from Oklahoma. She sat right next to me once stepping into the classroom. Normally white people wouldn’t talk to me first, but she did. We had a few laughs and nice conversations together. Hopefully I can become good friends with her.

Second period is French II. Last year I had Madam Milton, this year I have another teacher, Mrs. Montgomery. She’s funny and talkative. When I hear her talking in French, she has a very strong American accent. In my opinion, Madam Milton doesn’t have an accent when she speaks French. I guess that’s because her ex-husband is French. But anyway, I am sure most of the students are happy to have Mrs. Montgomery since she’s not as strict and rigid as Madam Milton. Nevertheless, I kind of miss Milton. I learned a lot in her class to be honest. I ran into her the first day of school, she was very excited to see me again. Too bad I won’t be able to take French III next year, she teaches French III.

Third period is PE, or physical education. There’s not much to talk about the teacher though. Coach Knowles, like every other coach, he doesn’t give out a lot of rules. In PE class, the grades aren’t based on the athletic skills. As long as you dress out and participate, you get a hundred. I took one semester of PE when I was a freshman. It was the happiest time of the day, so now I am looking forward to having a fun semester.

I am very sportive, which makes me wonder why I still don’t look… fit. I can play basketball, volleyball, badminton, golf, swim etc. I was trying to think of the sports that I don’t do, and then I figure I don’t do American football and tennis. I can always learn though. Oh… and I don’t like to run. Going on a track would be the term for running.

My fourth period is US government. The teacher is a coach, Mr. Sniffin. He’s cool. He’s favorite quote is, “your job is to make my job easier,” which means if we follow the rules, he’ll go easy on us. He is very funny as well, despite some of his jokes I don’t understand. This class hopefully won’t be too difficult.

Writing at the point gets tiring and boring to me. But here comes the climax… double science periods and English class.

 Period number 5! Biology! I mentioned that I only got to the fourth chapter of my summer work. Thus, I felt sort of guilty when I got into the room. Then I realized I wasn’t alone! Majority of the students didn’t do the chapter outlines either!

Mr. Steinkamp still looked the same like two years ago. He was checking attendance and giving a handshake to every student. When he called out my name, he came to my seat and gave out a firm handshake, “good to have you back, Lu-Ting!” I smiled back; it was indeed good to be back. Then he talked about methods to study for his class. Steinkamp said that he even got students who have finished entire 40 chapters of outline during the summer. I felt choked and started coughing at the moment he said it. He looked at me and said, “you did 40 chapters too?” I shook my head and fell into silence. “40 chapters? Hell no… 4 chapters will do!” I thought. We got out of the room when the bell rang. When I was about to walk out, an old friend came to me… it was the Indian girl back in my Geometry class two years ago, Anusha. “Hey you’re in bio2 too?” I asked. Suddenly Steinkamp cut into the middle of the conversation, “so… you can teach her how to do well in the class!” He was winking at me. “Nah…” I answered with another smirk.

School started on Monday, and we had a quiz over chapter 1, 2 and 3 on Thursday. It sounded insane to me but I had to study for that quiz. My way of studying is “to study smart, not study hard.” This is something I am proud of myself, I save a lot of time on studying. I think it’s also the reason why my aunt thinks I seldom study; all I do is playing on the computer. Anyway, so it only took me 2 hours to review 3 chapters. I knew I wasn’t fully prepared, but I thought my efforts were enough. Eventually, I ended up getting 89 out of 111 on the quiz. Here’s one thing I don’t like about being in honors classes. All the people around me are geniuses and over achievers. Many people in my class got over 100, and that didn’t exactly make me feel right. The teacher asked me, “bio2 is a bit harder than bio1 right?” “Much harder,” I replied. “It’s okay, you didn’t do well on the first quiz in bio1 either,” he said with a calm and comforting voice. Amazing that he still remembered that, and he was right about that. I will work very hard for my next test. It won’t be just “studying smart,” but “studying hard” too!

Next! Sixth period would be Chemistry AP. I don’t know why the heck I would take chem2 since I won’t need it for Physical Therapy. Steinkamp’s classroom is right across the hallway, so sometimes Steinkamp comes to my chemistry teacher’s room for a chat or something else. The other day when he came talking to Mr. Ronnenkamp and saw me… “what!? You’re in chem2 too!? Are you getting yourself in some kind of hell or what?” I nodded, he got me again… taking double science is suicidal. Oh well, I’ll take Chemistry as a challenge. Chemistry is never easy for me; I think I didn’t do well on my bio quiz because it involved too much chemistry in the first 3 chapters ßahem… excuse! Sheesh… anyway, my chemistry teacher Mr. Ronnenkamp is extremely nice. However, I think I already gave him a bad first impression. First of all, I lost my handouts for labs and safety contract. I asked him for another one, but he ran out of copies, so he simply gave me his own copy with notes and everything written on it. I was somehow moved by his action. I appreciated for what he did. After a couple of days, I forgot to do my homework due to my accursed short memory. All I could do was to make up the homework while he’s lecturing. I sat in the first row so he saw me working on the homework sneakily. He didn’t say anything but I felt bad for my behavior. Sigh… anyway; I need a good grade in this class as well. Despite the fact I have the urge to drop this class…

Finally finally finally! I got to the last period, seventh period (Geez… never felt that tired before.) My last class is English IV, the teacher is Mrs. Porter. She seems quite serious and strict. According to what I heard about the teacher, Mrs. Porter is a tough teacher. She gives out difficult work and grades hard. Unfortunately, all my friends have the other English teacher Mrs. Riahi. I am the only one who has Porter… so wish me luck…

I just realized… all my teachers are white! The school is racist! *kidding*

Phew… I know this year is going to be more fun and less stressful. Although I will have much work to do, I think I am going to enjoy this school year a lot since it’s my last year of high school. Life’s good! Peace out!  

Say goodbye to the lazy life in Taiwan. I am back in Texas. Apparently I haven’t got rid of jetlag yet.  I tend to sleep in the afternoon or early in the evening and stay awake in the late night. I actually enjoy living in this time frame. Tranquility in the late night is just amazing. Even though I have to manage to be extremely quiet so the family wouldn’t complain, being alone sort of frees my soul and releases the deepest thought of myself.

School starts next Monday. Spiritually I am ready to fight and compete. However, my biology summer work is poorly behind. Right now I am on Chapter 4 and there are 25 chapters altogether. “It’s okay, I’ll work harder during the semester,” that’s always how I comfort my guiltiness. In fact, I am scared to death but… I still don’t want to work. It’s the last day of my summer vacation! Chill out!

Something I found weird… I realized that I don’t need to make any effort to switch the Taiwan lifestyle back to the Texas lifestyle. I always thought life in Texas is tough, but when I come back, I don’t feel the pain. In this case, I’d call it “Charles Darwin Adaptation Theory.” I went from conflicts to struggles to acceptance and finally to conformity. Stunning how a person can change so much due to the environment. The only thing I can’t get used to the first few days here would be the views. Taipei simply looks so distinct from Sugar Land. They are two completely different worlds. Taipei is just like New York, where every place is full of people, cars and buildings. In Sugar Land, life seems so placid. When it gets dark, the quietness and boredom can almost overwhelm me. It takes me a while to adjust. Personally I prefer staying in Taipei. I am a hectic person. 

On Friday, which was my second day in Texas, I was dragged to do yard work. As usual, I went and help without a second thought. Something worth to mention, it was my first official day to mow the lawn. I’ve tried my best to make the lawn look nice, however the result still showed that I am inexperienced. Oh well… I’ll get better. It’s just mowing is a tiring task, especially when you do the work under the sever sun strike.

Today I was wandering around my mailbox; I started to re-read the e-mails I wrote in the past relationship. There are a few things that I found out… first, my English sucked! I didn’t use some of the expressions right, which made the sentence sound awkward. I also dig out some grammatical mistakes. Second, I used a lot of weird names for the mail titles. Third, my thoughts were somehow not fully grown. Oh well… I was 16 only, don’t expect too much.

Now… jetlag is killing me. I think I need to get some sleep and ready to greet the first day of school. Wish me well! Despite that this journal entry is short… Hey! At least I wrote something! I’ll add more later on… Peace out!